Next, we headed to the beach where Kara mocked me severely because of my hat.

Ok…it’s not quite that goofy, but the only differences are the tassels and writing. This year, I decided my hat was an ample substitute for sunblock lotion. I hate that stuff. With a passion. And after one day of being in the sun for about four hours, I can say that it seems to have worked.

So we went to the beach, the crowded pool (webcam-monitored) where we watched Kara’s mom learn to swim, and then back to the condo. Lunch was delicious: pulled rotisserie chicken sandwiches.

Then we got bored and took a trip to the chamber of commerce which we mistook for the visitor’s center. Whoops. So they directed us to the visitor’s center where a very helpful woman doused us with great info.

Top 6 places to eat:

• Sea Shack
• Old Oyster Factory
• The Crazy Crab
• Skull Creek Boathouse
• Giuseppi’s
• Main Street Cafe & Pub

Today we knocked Sea Shack off the list. The food was amazing but the wait was ridiculous. We got there at 5:50 and didn’t get seated until 7:30. The place had maybe 15 tables and the ginormous line we waited in was outside in the 91-degree heat.

I got the Shack Attack: crabcake, scallops, shrimp, oysters, and tilapia.

So was it worth it? Not really. Go for lunch instead and enjoy shorter waits and cheaper food.

I’m an ice cream-aholic. So we stopped at the Piggly-Wiggly after dinner and snagged some Double Fudge Brownie ice cream which hit the spot with bananas and a crushed-up Butterfinger. Yum!

Time for bed…we’re playing tennis at 7:30 tomorrow morning.

G’night!

Related posts:

1. Hilton Head Island, SC – Day 1 of 8
2. Welcome to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

Kara and I just returned from a seven-day trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. We stayed at Royal Decameron Costa Flamingos all-inclusive resort which had fantastic scenery and was reasonably priced at $1700 for the week including all meals, unlimited drinks, taxis to and from the airport, and airfare.

The best part of most vacations is being able to relax and we sure did. Most days went like so: wake up at 10:00; eat breakfast; get in the ocean until 12:00; swim until 1:00; eat lunch; swim some more; get ready for dinner and eat it; take pictures and enjoy one of five bars. Awesome.

We did venture out of the resort once on foot in an effort to go downtown but were too frightened by our surroundings so we promptly turned around after walking for about 10 minutes. After that we decided to book a snorkeling tour instead which was great because the taxi picked us up right in front of the resort.

My only complaints were lack of air conditioning everywhere except the rooms and mediocre food. But Kara and I quickly found a work-around by making reservations at the on-site Piccolo restaurant which was enclosed (cooler but not air conditioned) and had food at least three times better than the other restaurants we tried so therefore we ate there three out of the seven nights. Even so, a quick trip to Applebee’s when we returned was in order to get some decent dessert. For some reason only flan and nasty, hard cookies were supplied.

On-site Restaurant Rating (best to worst):

1. Piccolo (Italian)
2. Rodizio (Brazilian Grill)
3. Wok (Thai)
4. Buffets (each night the theme changes)
5. Mexicano (Mexican)
6. JapJap (Japanese)

The bars were numerous (5) and inviting. My favorite drink was the mango margarita followed closely by what they called a frozen brown cow which was simply Kahlua and milk. Many of the reviews we read prior to vacationing slammed the bars for putting very little alcohol in the drinks. I can say from first-hand ivory throne-visiting experience that we did not feel the same way. Hey Pepto-Bismol!

Enough rambling. Enjoy the pictures!

See the rest of the pictures!

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We got a new dishwasher for Christmas (thanks Mom!) and I’m convinced it thinks it’s an ice cream truck. Check out the video above to see what I’m talking about! The first time Kara heard it she thought I was playing Super Mario Brothers on my Nintendo.

The Old:

The New: LG LDS4821 ($800)

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1. “Twas the Month Before Christmas”

In the parking lot there were two vehicles: a delivery car and an old beater. At this point I was very skeptical and almost drove away but I figured since we were already there we might as well find out for sure whether this place was a keeper. It turned out that the building was an old Pizza Hut that had recently been reacquired. We opened the door and were met by a burst of hot air and a rather strange odor. I walked up to the counter and asked for a menu.

*In a thick Greek accent* “You eating here or taking with you?”

We surveyed the crowd (well, lack thereof), glanced over the menu, and decided to stay. I ordered a 16″ extra-large pepperoni and pineapple pizza which was on special for $10.99. It was spectacular. I would rank it on par with the Mellow Mushroom which is better than all of the large pizza chains.

They also have lunch specials for $4.99 that include french fries and a drink. Not bad considering my combo meal at Chick-fil-a costs over $7. My advice would be to get your food to go so you can eat it in a nicer environment.

Jamestown Oven & Grill is located at
705 #C W. Main Street
Jamestown, NC 27282
(336) 454-9001

Bon Appetit!

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1. Welcome to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

…bad idea.

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I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that was a wise move on my part. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented “You’re definitely going to mess yourself” chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

Here’s the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No “Watson’s Movement 2″. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.

Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.
Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn’t until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m referring to that “Uh oh, gotta go” pain that always seems to hit us
at the wrong time. But, this pain was different. The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small
intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot. There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me.

Slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don’t know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the “Cloud” that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here’s what I mean, and I’m sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could’ve warned that poor woman but didn’t. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Big Mistake. Here’s the thing. When you laugh, it’s hard to keep things “clamped down”, if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my lower region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I’d make it before the grand assplosion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable “Oh my God”, floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of “Shock and Awe”. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, ” Oh my God!”, then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, “Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.” That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, “IT’S YOU!”, then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was ceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson’s. I can’t say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. They claim they’re going to have to repaint the store.

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If you haven’t figured it out, it’s supposed to say the following:

Best Wishes Suzanne
We Will Miss You

The “Under Neat that” is just icing on the cake (pun intended).

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As we entered the parking lot we were greeted by our first ripoff of the day — $7.00 for parking. While it wasn’t extremely hot out the sun was at that perfect spot where it blinds you in such a way that you can’t see much of anything unless you walk the opposite direction.

We made our way past some food vendors at which Luke and Stephanie got a “Philly Cheese Steak” and chicken-on-a-stick for $6.00 each. Luke looked at the sandwich like it was missing something so I asked and he replied, “The meat.” The chicken looked ok but didn’t come with anything else…just a bit of meat on a stick. While Kara and I were tempted to get funnel cakes and deep fried Oreos, Milky Ways, and Snickers we decided to wait until after the ferris wheel ride to make sure we wouldn’t puke on each other.

Wandering around aimlessly we found some indoor exhibits that were a nice respite from the sun and temptation of food. The displays for 4-H, Boy Scouts, etc. were very poorly designed and served absolutely no purpose. For example, one team created an area with eight or nine various Barbies just sitting there. Very useful. Good use of money. The next area was pictures that had been judged. Many of them were very creative and made me wish I had a nicer digital camera. The Judge’s pick was a close-up of a praying mantis…very cool.

At 6:30 there was a show featuring border Collies that were trained to herd Canadian geese and ducks. The trainer/operator (whatever you call him) could give the dog four basic commands: lay, up, circle left, circle right. With these he was able to order the dog to corral the three geese onto a seesaw and into a large tube and the ducks into a “magic” washer that produced three very white ducks given three very dirty ducks.

One of the two most disappointing events was the bull riding. The show “started” at 7:30 but we didn’t see any riding until about 8:00 after which we left the show at 8:20 because it was so boring. Most of the guys were only able to stay on for 2-3 seconds. I was expecting at least 5-10.

Since the sun finally hid itself we opted for the ferris wheel. I’m pretty confident I’ve never spent as much on any form of entertainment per unit of time as this ride cost. It was $4.00 per person per ride and lasted a whopping three (3), yes three, minutes. I counted the baskets (or whatever you want to call them) to 24 with six seats in each giving a total of 144 seats per ride at $4 which is $576 per ride. Let’s just say they weren’t losing money on that ride. But back to the math…$4 for three minutes is $1.33 per minute or $2.67 per minute if you include my wife. In just 5 minutes I would have paid for a month of WoW!

At least the food was good. Kara and I split a powered sugar-coated, chocolate-drizzled funnel cake for $5 that was quite good and a homemade mug of root beer in a “collectible” mug for $4 that was also good. It’s too bad that both were overpriced.

For a total of $34 we got parking, admittance, 1 funnel cake, 1 root beer, and a 3-minute ferris wheel ride. Not a very good ROI. If you have kids stay away from this place because you will go broke just trying to feed the little buggers, let alone trying to keep them entertained.

Related posts:

1. Welcome to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico

You can follow my journey on the “My Diet” page.

If you have suggestions (other than eat less and exercise) please let me know!

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“This is some sho’ enough good eatin’ ya’ll.” ~ From episode “Southern Favorites”

How can you go wrong with an amazing southern cook like Paula Dean? I think she uses more butter and mayonnaise than anyone else in the world. In this episode she made the following:

• BBQ Pork Sandwich
• Corn Fritters
• Traditional Southern Deviled Eggs
• Corrie’s Kentucky Pie

The Kentucky Pie looked really good, especially after she added ice cream and whipped cream!

Some day I hope to be a professional chef. I think it would be so rewarding and exciting to try new recipes all the time. Maybe when I retire…

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