grep life by Jeremy Glover

Megabytes…Megabits…It’s all the Same

Let me just start off by saying, “WOW!”

I decided to do some updates on my desktop computer at home tonight and the download speed was awful. The maximum download speed on my current plan is 90KB/s. That’s not gonna cut it for downloading gigabytes of data in a reasonable amount of time. Hmm…maybe I’ll upgrade my internet connection so the downloads go faster, I thought!

I called Time Warner, waited on hold for about five minutes and then spoke to Dustin, an upstanding young sales rep. I’m embarrassed for Dustin. What. A. Schmuck.

Me: I want to upgrade my Roadrunner internet connection.
Dustin: Ok, our next plan is blah blah blah…
Me: And then?
Dustin: Our standard package. Five megabytes for $39.95 a month.
Me: Five megabytes?!
Dustin: Yes, five megabytes.
Me: Five Mega B-Y-T-E-S?
Dustin: Yes, five megabytes.

Me: Let me speak to your supervisor, please.
Dustin: May I ask why?
Me: Yes, because you don’t know the difference between megabytes and megabits.
Dustin: Megabytes, megabits, they’re the same thing.
Me: No they aren’t.
Dustin: Yes, they are.
Me: Let me speak to your supervisor, please.
Dustin: Why, because I don’t know the difference between megabytes and megabits?
Me: Yes.
Dustin: I don’t think she’ll let you speak with her.
Me: Make it happen.
Dustin: Hold on, sir.

5 minutes later…

Dustin: My supervisor doesn’t think you need to speak with her about this issue. I’m not in IT, or technical support. Do you want to work for Time Warner?
Me: What?
Dustin: Do you want a job with Time Warner?
Me: No, if I wanted a job with Time Warner I would be working for Time Warner.
Me: Now, can you get me that plan you told me about? The five megabyte plan.
Dustin: Sure, let me put that into the system.
Me: NO! You can’t put it into the system because it doesn’t exist. You don’t have a five megabyte plan! You have a five megabit plan! Now let me talk with your supervisor.
Dustin: May I ask why?
Me: Yes, because Time Warner obviously isn’t training you correctly. The fact that you don’t know the difference between megabytes and megabits speaks to the poor quality of their training.
Dustin: That’s great. It’s not my job to know the difference between megabytes and megabits.
Me: Let me speak with your supervisor.
Dustin: She isn’t going to let you speak with her.
Me: Make it happen.
Dustin: Ok…make it happen.

10 minutes later…

Dustin: My supervisor is going to speak with you and he (somehow mutated sexes during the break) knows the difference between megabytes and megabits.
Me: Good.
Dustin: Hold on while I transfer you to Jocque.
Me: (Hmm…isn’t that a man’s name?)

5 minutes later…

Jocque: Hello sir, how may I help you?
Me: Are you Dustin’s supervisor?
Jocque: Yes.
Me: Well Jocque, I have a problem. Dustin quoted me a 5 megabyte per second connection for $39.95 per month. Can you sign me up for that plan?
Jocque: Haha. No, sir. I would have that plan at home if we carried it.
Me: Well then, can you please teach Dustin the difference between bytes and bits so he doesn’t misquote the plans anymore?
Jocque: Yes, sir. I can do that.
Me: Good. I also wanted to point out that Dustin’s attitude needs some work. Dustin said, and I quote, “It’s not my job to know the difference between megabytes and megabits.”
Jocque: *gasp* That is completely unacceptable.
Me: Yes it is.
Me: Now, what kind of discount can I get for having to deal with that?
Jocque: Let me transfer you to a different rep who will be able to help you.
Me: Ok.

Five minutes later, without hold music to let me know I’m still connected…

Vanessa: Sir? Hello?! Sir?
Me: Yes?
Vanessa: How can I help you, sir?
Me: I want to upgrade my internet connection.
Vanessa: Ok, we have a five megabyte connection for $39.95 per month.
Me: A five megabyte connection for $39.95 per month?
Vanessa: Yes, a five megabyte connection for $39.95 per month.
Vanessa: Ohh…sorry…it’s a five megabit connection.
Me: Did your supervisor just correct you?
Vanessa: Yes.
Me: Good. You need to learn the difference.
Me: Now, what kind of discount can I get for having to deal with this for 45 minutes?
Vanessa: Well, we can upgrade you to the standard plan (5 Mb/s) and it will only add $5 to your account.
Me: How is that?
Vanessa: Well my supervisor authorized me to give you a campaign deal for a year that we’re not running right now.
Me: Good!

So, for $5 more per month I go from 768Kb/s (96KB/s) to 5Mb/s (625KB/s). But I guess really there’s no difference since megabytes and megabits are the same thing!

To any of you who are still confused about the difference, let me make it quite clear:

1 byte contains 8 bits.
There are 8 bits in 1 byte.
A byte is 8 times bigger than 1 bit.
A bit is 1/8 the size of a byte.

MB = megabyte
Mb = megabit

MB = 8Mb
1Mb = 0.125MB

If you’re STILL confused please check out the Wikipedia article on “bit” here.

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